Of Pirates and Champions
by Jendeh
Summary: F!Hawke was infatuated with Isabela from the very moment they met.  Love is not always so easy though, and even the most hardened pirate must learn to grow.  Follows F!Hawke and Isabela through their years together.  Love, drama, angst and humor.
1. Chapter 1  Beginnings

_**A/N: **Originally I put up two chapters of this story before I decided I hated the direction it was going and took it down for a near total rewrite. I've tried to inject more personality and humor and less angst. I intend for the story to follow Hawke's and Isabela's romance throughout the game without doing a complete rehash of the moments that the game provided for us. I really want to dive much deeper into the emotions of these two as I felt that the game only left us wanting more. Please read/review if you enjoy the story. It only makes me want to write faster!_

_**Disclaimer:** Is this necessary? Well just in case you should know that I own nothing._

Chapter 1

Marian Hawke sat at her desk in her uncle Gamlen's house reading a request to meet from Magistrate Vanard that had arrived earlier in the day when Isabela sauntered in and made herself at home by pouring some ale and sprawling out in a chair across the room. Hawke could tell by the other woman's demeanor and silence that something was on her mind, so turned around and offered a small smile.

"Isabela I was hoping you would stop by, how would like to go on a little adventure?"

Isabela smirked before taking a swig of her ale. "This swill of your uncle's is absolutely horrid Hawke. It should be illegal to even produce it and you know I don't say such things lightly."

"He gets it from a neighbor across the way. I helped him retrieve some goods that were stolen from him a few months ago and he has been paying us back by providing the ale. Gamlen and Carver haven't complained much and it is one more thing that we don't have to pay money for."

"So let me get this right. You gallantly retrieve this man's stolen goods and in return he gifts you with a barrel of dog piss. You were wronged Hawke, I think we should immediately go and right this injustice!" Isabela perked up for a moment before saying, "Perhaps we can tell Aveline about this and it would give her something better to do than harass innocent town folk such as myself."

Hawke shook her head amused. "Stop avoiding the question! Adventure yes or no? Don't make me ask Fenris or Anders. I don't think I could possibly handle another whine fest," she said grinning.

"Who else is coming? Varric?"

Hawke rolled her eyes. "Varric and Aveline as well. Possibly Merrill too, she needs to get out more. We could use you."

Isabela sighed dramatically. "Well Varric and that exquisite chest hair of his does sound appealing, but you always seem to get me into trouble," she grumbled.

"You love trouble!" Hawke accused.

"Of course I do, but usually only when I am the one causing it. Also your trouble never seems to involve sex or liquor," the rogue said winking.

"Isabela you are incorrigible. Yes or no, will you come?"

"You haven't even told me where we are going. Not that it matters, I've been a bit bored as of late," she admitted. Isabela then leaned back and stared at Hawke for several silent moments.

Hawke grew nervous under the scrutiny and blurted, "You look far too calculating right now. Why are you staring at me like that?"

The pirate's mouth played at a smirk. "How exactly am I _staring_ at you?"

"Like you want to eat me or something."

Isabela's grin was wide when she replied, "Well that is definitely one way of putting it."

Hawke's blush was immediate and her eyes widened. "Do you mean...?"

"Yes," the pirate replied moving in close. "You and I have been at this game for weeks now. As much as I like playing think we are both ready to try a new game don't you think?" she said in a sultry tone as she ran a gentle finger along Hawke's jawline.

"Um, Isabela personal space please?" Hawke blurted as she backed away from the advancing rogue. Isabela ignored the mage's plea until they both practically stood in the corner of the room. The pirate put her hands on the mage's hips drawing them together and Hawke felt like her heart could not possibly pound any faster in her chest.

Isabela lightly kissed the mage's ear and whispered, "Do you want this or not?"

The touch of the rogue's lips on her skin felt intoxicating to Hawke. She was breathing heavy when she responded. "I think that perhaps I do, but I honestly can't think very clearly right now," she mumbled anxiously. The mage found she was transfixed by honey colored eyes that sparkled with mischief and a beautiful smile that told Hawke the other woman knew exactly where this was going.

"Good," Isabela whispered as she nuzzled Hawke's neck. Her breath felt warm and sensual. "I think I've waited too damn long for this." And with that remark the pirate put her hands on either side of the mage's face and drew her in for a deep kiss that left Hawke reeling. Isabela wasn't nearly done though and roughly pushed Hawke against the wall before assaulting her mouth again. Her tongue flicked against Hawke's time and again while her hands groped the mage's body.

Finally the pirate pulled away looking incredibly satisfied with her handiwork while Hawke slumped back against the wall panting and trying to regain her composure. Isabela rested her hands against the wall keeping the mage trapped. "Now just try and tell me you didn't enjoy that," she said smugly.

Hawke suddenly wanted nothing more than to be ravished by the pirate, but forced herself to come to her senses. "Isabela...oh Maker! I think we should perhaps continue this discussion later. My brother is due home any moment now."

Isabela laughed and said, "The more the merrier!" then she paused briefly, "Wait thats creepy right? Brother and sister? Yes definitely creepy, I take that one back. Seriously forget I ever said that."

As if on cue Carver threw open the front door and stood stunned as he stared at the two women. "What the hell is going on here?" he shouted.

Both women spoke at the same time.

"It's not what it looks like Carver."

"We were about to have sex before you rudely interrupted."

Hawke groaned and pushed past the pirate. "Look Carver nothing happened and nothing was going to happen."

Isabela snorted. "I think I was about thirty seconds from making all kinds of exciting things happen. In fact its not too late! Would you mind stepping out for a few Carver? Be a dear and guard the door against other intruders?"

Hawke flashed a look of pure annoyance at the pirate. "Damn it Isabela, please be quiet."

Carver's eyes had widened to the point of practically popping out of his head and he began to shout in earnest. "You were going to have sex with that pirate whore when our mother could have walked in here at any moment!" he yelled accusingly.

Hawke was about to try and calm her brother down when Isabela cut her off. "Oh whatever shall we do? Baby brother doesn't approve!" Isabela said in a mocking tone.

Carver glared at the woman and sneered, "You disgust me pirate whore."

Isabela chuckled. "Oh now thats original. I definitely have not heard that one before. Hawke dear, could you document this moment please?"

Hawke forced herself to keep a straight face and calmly looked at the pirate asking with her eyes for the pirate to behave. Isabela rolled her eyes and stayed quiet, but didn't lose her grin. The woman just loved to torture Carver at every possible opportunity. Usually Hawke was vastly amused, but she could see that her brother was about to explode.

"Isabela" Hawke said quietly, and the other woman shrugged and blew a kiss in Carver's direction before walking out the front door. Marian glanced at her brother who was seething and sighed loudly. "Alright Carver lets have it."

"Sister you disgust me. You put us in constant danger from the Templars, and now you bring this...this woman thing, your whore into our home. Maker! How many times before this?" he asked in an accusatory tone.

"The things that disgust you about me these days are too long to list. As for Isabela, it is none of your business. I told you that nothing happened," Hawke replied in a steady voice.

Carver calmed down and ran his fingers through his short dark hair. His shoulders slumped and he visibly seemed to relax. "Alright I believe you, but I think it would be better for our family if you kept whatever _relations_ you have with your whore away from our home. Maker forbid our mother ever see you dallying a woman, much less pirate scum."

Hawke felt her temper rising and knew that if she didn't get out of the house soon she and Carver would come to blows. Since the death of their sister the two siblings never could seem to see eye to eye and often argued over the smallest issues.

"Tell mother that I am going to The Hanged Man," she said icily and walked through the front door without waiting for a response. She needed to get away from her moody brother and think about what had just happened with Isabela. The pirate had flirted constantly with her since they had met a few months earlier. In fact once she thought about it Hawke realized that she had flirted back at every opportunity. In truth she had been fascinated by the rogue since they had first met. The woman moved like a cat, graceful and smooth. And predatory. Isabela stalked her prey with the same feral tenacity whether she intended to slay them or bed them.

Dusk had just settled when she walked into the popular bar. She and her friends were always welcome here mostly due to Varric's influence and Marian appreciated the chance to relax away from her often stressful home life. Before losing nearly everything she held dear in Lothering Marian never would have imagined that a great source of comfort for her would be a seedy bar in one of the most dangerous parts of Kirkwall, but she found she looked forward to going there almost every evening.

Inside her friends were all settled at a long table and laughing. Anders said something to Varric and the dwarf turned around in his seat shouting with pure glee.

"Hawke my friend, we were hoping that you would be coming tonight."

Hawke laughed and said, "Well it was either being with you goofs or staying with Carver and continuing to work out the many ways we dislike each other. Easy decision. Okay who has the good ale? I think I am going to need a bit extra tonight." She slid onto bench next to Isabela hoping her choice wasn't too obvious. Isabela look pleased.

"Ho ho ho!" Varric laughed gamely. "Looks like our fearless leader is perhaps ready to try my special stock?"

"Special stock Varric?" Hawke asked perplexed.

From across the table Isabela coughed and got Varric's attention. "Perhaps another night Varric, some of us would like to not pass out in our own vomit tonight," Isabela murmured.

Varric seemed to pick up on a signal from the pirate and his eyes flicked quickly between the mage and the rogue. "Rivaini I think maybe you are right. While I can always appreciate a good drink I do believe that having the ability to walk to my room might be more important. Perhaps I need to be more cautious after Blondie here dropped me on my face the last time I generously supplied him with something better than this swill. He was apparently _helping_ me to my room after I fell asleep at the table," the dwarf said as he brought his fingers up to gesture for quotations.

"Did not!" shouted the seemingly tipsy apostate. "You tripped on Barkspawn's tail and dragged me down with you!" Anders blurted indignantly

"Nobody remembers it that way Blondie."

The companions all shook their heads at Anders who appeared to grow more flustered. "Unbelievable I can never win!"

"Varric I think you were lucky he dropped you. You were pretty plastered and Anders is quite fond of sausage," Isabela quipped.

"Isabela!" Hawke and Aveline shouted together. Anders looked mortified and was choking on his drink. Varric was choking on laughter.

"What does Anders' having a taste for sausage have to do with Varric?" Merrill asked perplexed. Isabela began laughing so hard that Hawke had to catch her when she nearly fell off of her stool. Merrill looked embarrassed. "Oh did I say something silly again?"

Isabela leaned over and kissed the young elf on the forehead. "Yes, but it wasn't anything I didn't love hearing Kitten."

Meanwhile Anders was red in the face and glaring at Isabela. She flashed him a wicked grin. "I am not...I have not...would never!" he sputtered.

"Oh calm down Blondie, Rivaini here got you good." Varric said incredibly amused. He looked thoughtful for a moment before turning to Aveline. "However, one can never be too cautious around sausage lovers. If Blondie is still around later can you make sure I get to my room safely?" Aveline chuckled and nodded.

Anders groaned and planted his face in his hands. "Oh damn Isabela what have you started?"

Hawke spent the rest of the evening being fairly quiet as her friends chatted merrily amongst themselves. The mage tried her best to catch glimpses of Isabela out of the corner of her eye when the rogue was laughing or telling one of her stories of grand adventure aboard her former ship The Siren's Call. She tried not to be too obvious when she leaned in close enough for their arms to touch. The warmth of the pirate's skin against hers was electrifying. Isabela was giggling while telling an entertaining story of drunken sailors running naked through Lowtown with guards chasing after them when she slid her hand beneath the table and ran her fingers along Hawke's inner thigh.

Hawke's jaw tightened and when she turned in surprised the pirate winked mischievously at her. Hawke felt her breath catch in her throat and her heart began to pound furiously. She sat holding her breath for several moments while Isabela's hand rested on her leg.

"Hawke! Damn it all pay attention. This is important!"

Marian glanced quickly at an incredibly sloshed Anders. "What was it you were asking me Anders? I'm sorry I was distracted," she blurted sheepishly. Isabela snickered and squeezed her thigh gently. Hawke glanced around nervously at her companions, but they were all paying attention to Anders.

Anders looked at her for a moment confused before settling his head in his hands. "I don't remember," he miserably. "I think I need to turn in for the night. I miss my cat."

Fenris stood up and walked over to the drunk mage. "I'll see to it that he gets home safely."

Varric raised an eyebrow. "Hey if he just so happens to trip on something and fall on his face a few times drinks will be on me for a week," the dwarf remarked dryly.

Fenris' lips curled slightly as he put an arm around the other man and dragged him to his feet. "I'll give your offer serious consideration Varric."

"Thats all I ask Broody."

Isabela pushed her chair out and stood up. Her hand rested on Hawke's back briefly before she pulled away and stretched her arms out wide. "I think thats it for this girl tonight blokes."

"All alone tonight Isabela?" Aveline inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"I think perhaps I'll be trying something new tonight Big Girl," Isabela replied with a chuckle before turning on her heel and walking towards her room. Hawke watched the pirate's hips the entire way. And Varric watched Hawke.

Finally all of the companions said their respective good nights and Varric sat alone with Hawke. He didn't wait long before speaking his mind. "Are you sure you know what you are doing with the Rivaini Hero?"

Her jaw fell slightly open, but Marian quickly recovered. "I don't know what you are talking about Varric."

"Oh shut up Hero. You two have been playing googly eyes for weeks and tonight you were practically sitting on her lap. Look I'm just trying to say that you need to be careful. The Rivaini isn't as careless as she would have others believe, but she also isn't relationship material. I don't think you are the love 'em and leave 'em type Hawke."

Hawke sighed and and the corners of her mouth turned slightly upwards. "Have you ever wanted something so badly your entire body aches for it?"

Varric tilted his head and nodded. "Yep. Thats how I feel about Bianca," he said and caressed his crossbow.

Hawke stood up and regarded him seriously. "Well thats how I also feel about Isabela. I don't think I have ever wanted anything more."

"I just hope this doesn't end in tears," Varric remarked sagely before a loud 'hic' escaped his lips. He grunted and said, "Go on. She is waiting."

Hawke offered him a small nervous smile and turned towards Isabela's room. She was nervous, terrified and incredibly excited. When she reached the room she raised her hand and paused to take a deep breath.

Finally she knocked.


	2. Chapter 2 Captain Oh My Captain!

_**A/N: **Okay I wrote and then rewrote and then rewrote this part of the story. There are some sexy times in this chapter that I think skirt the edge between T and M. Suggestive themes mostly. Anyways I felt about two tons of writers block hit me in the face the moment I needed to write a love scene. I promise there is original plot on the way and I still intend to follow the storyline without much rehash. Next update should be quicker than this one._

_**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything. Darn it._

Chapter 2

Isabela opened the door smirking in that charming way of hers. "Well its about time," she purred as she stood back and allowed the mage to enter. The room was simple but had some personal items scattered about. Most notably several books sitting on a small dresser.

Hawke's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Isabela you enjoy reading?" she asked enthusiastically. When the mage turned around she saw that the pirate had already removed most of her outer garments and stood in her small clothes revealing an exquisite body that was a perfect mixture of hard muscle and soft curves. Hawke's jaw slackened and she tried to focus her thoughts.

"Isabela wait. Please I need to tell you something," the mage blurted nervously.

"Let me guess, the Qunari are attacking the city and Viscount has declared a state of emergency?" Isabela quipped.

"What? No its nothing like that," Hawke said frowning.

"Alright then. Perhaps some drowning children? A puppy in a tree? Oh maybe an old lady that needs help traveling into the Deeps Roads?" the rogue jested as she leaned against the door.

"Must you always make light of everything?" Hawke groaned as she wondered if the pirate was blocking the only exit on purpose.

Isabela sighed and raised an eyebrow. "I'll continue to make light of things when I believe you are being silly. You are much too reserved! If you want to continue talking about books I might have to hurt you," Isabela said in an amused yet somewhat dangerous tone as she picked up one of her daggers to emphasize her point.

Hawke shook her head alarmed. "Your joking of course. Wait why are you walking towards me with your weapon? Oh damn it Isabela stop fooling around please!" she blurted exasperated.

Isabela snickered and placed one finger on the mage's lips. "Only if you stop talking." The rogue grazed her nails across Hawke's stomach and the mage suddenly felt her entire body grow very warm. Their bodies were mere inches apart and the mage could feel lust radiating from the pirate.

Hawke licked her lips and quickly confessed, "I haven't been with a lady before."

"Me either. Whores yes, ladies no," Isabela replied casually while she brushed her mouth against the mage's neck.

Hawke inhaled the pirate's scent. She smelled of an intoxicating mixture of the ocean and earthiness. "Damn it Isabela, I'm being serious," she hesitated, "I just don't want to be..."

"Terrible?" The pirate suggested as she wrapped her arms around the mage and pressed their bodies together. She kissed the mage lightly on the mouth. "Are we talking about the worst sex of my life? The single person who turns me to a path of righteousness due to her inability to bring me to orgasm?" the pirate jested and Hawke smiled sheepishly. "Let yourself go for once and tell me that you want me," she demanded fiercely.

In this there was no hesitation, no doubt. "I do. More than I can say."

Isabela didn't wait for a further response before she kissed the mage hard and Hawke felt herself melt into surrender. The pirate pulled at the back of her robe, but Hawke could only pay attention to the other woman's mouth which had claimed possession of all of the mage's senses. Isabela dropped something on the floor and stared into the mage's hazel eyes. "Your mouth tastes like honey, will the rest of you taste the same?" Isabela asked seductively before grabbing the shoulder's of Hawke's robe and pulling it from her body. The garment fell away easily leaving Hawke confused until she noticed Isabela's dagger lying at their feet.

"You cut my robes...off?"

"Yes," was all the pirate said as she pulled Hawke to the bed and began to thoroughly educate the younger woman.

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Afterward Hawke sat in Isabela's bed with her legs crossed as she examined the remains of her robe. Isabela had cut it straight down the back and then had torn it further when she had pulled it from Hawke's body. If she wore it now Hawke figured she would be showing a lot more of her backside than she was comfortable with. She glanced up at Isabela who sat at the edge of the bed cramming food into her mouth and washing it down with ale. The pirate had produced two platters of food immediately after they finished as if it were the most natural thing in the world to consume massive amounts of food right after sex. When Isabela noticed her watching she held up a turkey leg and offered it to Hawke who shook her head.

"What?" the pirate asked annoyed as she took a large bite out of the turkey leg Hawke had refused.

"You are hungry," the mage said stating the obvious and trying not laugh.

Isabela shrugged and glanced at the two platters. "Sex builds an appetite," she defended.

"Apparently it does in some of us," Hawke blurted staring at the two nearly empty platters.

"Look I just get hungry after good sex," the pirate replied exasperated.

"Was that a compliment?"

Isabela smirked and laughed. "Well for a virgin you were pleasing. Still you could use further instruction," she teased.

Hawke sputtered and yelped. "I never said that I was a...that I was completely inexperienced! I just meant with women!"

The pirate rolled her eyes. "Oh please it was completely obvious. 'Oh Isabela I need to confess something! Oh Isabela don't ravish me with that incredibly splendid, gorgeous and immaculate body of yours before I manage to completely ruin the mood!' Definitely a virgin," Isabela mocked humorously as she finished off a banana.

Hawke blushed and sighed. "I'm not going to win here am I?"

"Not a chance," said Isabela who picked up some grapes and popped one in her mouth.

Hawke smiled and glanced back down at her ruined robe. Isabela had a way of laughing at her embarrassment that helped Hawke to relax. "You owe me another robe," she said grumpily as she watched the pirate walk across the room to place the empty platters on a table.

"Is that so? Perhaps I can repay my debt in other ways," the rogue replied suggestively with a wink and a smirk.

"Exactly what do you have in mind?" Hawke asked grinning. The mage was once again reminded of a feline as Isabela crawled on the bed towards her. The pirate pushed her down roughly with one hand and straddled the the other woman's hips. In a quick moment she had pinned both of the Hawke's hands down above her head.

The pirate chuckled as she leaned in for a kiss. "Brace yourself love, that debt is about to be repaid in full."

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When Hawke woke in the morning she found herself alone in the room. Her entire body ached. Isabela was a demanding lover who could go from gentle to rough without any warning. She sat up in the bed and groaned as she stretched her arms. On a table near the bed a small plate of fruit had been set out along with two mugs. Hawke sniffed at both and discovered water in one and ale in the other. Isabela obviously didn't think the morning was too early to start drinking, but apparently decided to water was a safe bet as well.

Hawke ravenously devoured a few pieces of the fruit before noticing some clothing folded up on the back of the table. She picked up the tunic which was several sizes too large and must have belonged to a man. The white garment practically hung to her knees, but was much preferable to her robe which would have exposed her entire backside. The pants must have belonged to Isabela as they were made for a woman. Hawke wondered why she never wore them and decided it either had to do with flexibility or sex. Probably both.

She was just about to slip her shoes on when Isabela walked through the door and stepped close to the mage. She stared for a long moment at the shirt Hawke wore and brushed it gently with her hand before turning her gaze to the mage's face and smiling brightly. For just the slightest of moments Hawke could have sworn that sorrow had flickered across the pirate's lovely face. "I see you found all of the things I left out for you sleepyhead," Isabela said fondly and ran her fingers through Hawke's hair.

The corners of Hawke's mouth curved upward before her eyes widened in distress. "How late it is? Oh Maker! I forgot all about my mother! She must be panicked by now!" Hawke blurted alarmed.

"Not to worry," Isabela quipped, "I went and saw your mother this morning and told her you had stayed the night with me. Oh stop looking at me like that I didn't give away any details on the naughty bits! I just told her that there was a late night that it would be safer for you to stay with me rather than walk the streets," she said looking very pleased with herself.

"You. Told. My. Mother," Hawke muttered clearly distressed.

"Oh calm down she isn't going to suspect anything happened," Isabela replied smirking as if not even she believed that lie. "Baby brother on the other hand looked as if he had no doubts."

"Isabela look at what I am wearing! Of course she is going to know!" Hawke shouted. "Oh Maker! She was just talking of me getting married and I am so sure you are not what she had in mind."

The pirate gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes and held up her hand to shush the mage. "Alright enough of this. Answer me a question. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?"

Hawke frowned in confusion. "Ummmm...I...huh...what?"

The pirate snickered and replied, "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!"

"Did you just tell me a joke?" asked Hawke incredulous.

"Oh here I've got another one! Listen up! Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, 'Bloody hell it's hot in here!' The other muffin says, 'Bloody hell...a talking muffin!'."

"Oh Maker Isabela that is horrid. What exactly are you doing?" Hawke blurted warily but clearly had deflated from her anger.

The pirate snickered. "I love that first one. As for what I am doing you ask? I am shutting you up! Your mother asked me to tell you that she and your brother would be at the market for several hours so you can slip home and change if you like. I didn't see that slimy uncle of yours. That man does nothing but stare at my breasts!" she announced somehow pulling off an odd mixture of offended and pleased.

Hawke glanced briefly at the pirate's chest. "Well you do kind of put them out there for anyone to see..."

"Sometimes they are a useful distraction. Men tend to look at my breasts and not the dagger I'm about to plunge into their necks," the pirate said happily and pulled Hawke close. She growled low in her throat and asked, "Is it too early for sexy times?"

Hawke's eyes widened and she sighed. "I don't think there is a woman on the planet with more energy than you," she said as she pulled away. "The others are meeting at Merrill's tonight for dinner. Will you be there?" she asked trying not to sound too hopeful as she opened the door to leave.

"Count on it."

Hawke almost had the door shut when Isabela called out her name. She peeked her head back in to find the pirate smiling. Isabela kissed her softly and said, "You were wonderful. I thought I should tell you that." There was a slight pause and then she added, "Oh and Hawke? Please return that shirt to me. It is important."

_To be continued..._

_I hope that wasn't too much fluff for you guys..._


	3. Chapter 3 The Wrong Words

_**A/N:** Well this chapter practically wrote itself and if I didn't have life responsibilities it would have been up sometime Saturday. Adulthood is not all its cracked up to be. More thoughts on this chapter at the bottom of the page._

_**Disclaimer:** I contacted Bioware about owning these characters. They put a restraining order against me. So unfortunately I still don't own them._

Chapter 3

_The Deep Roads expedition did not go as well as planned. It started off badly when Hawke forced her brother to remain behind and only got worse once Sandal was briefly lost. Finally the companions were betrayed by Varric's brother and they would have all died if not for quick wits and sharper blades. Upon returning home battered and bruised, but quite a bit wealthier, Hawke discovered that her brother had joined the Templars. _

"If I had taken you with me you could have died Carver! It was nearly a disaster as it was!" she shouted at him frustrated.

"Thats the thing sister. I am a man and can make my own choices. The Deep Roads was _not_ a choice that should have been made for me," he snapped.

"Carver I make these choices for you because you nearly always make the wrong ones for yourself."

Upon reflection Marian realized that those were a poor choice of words. Her brother looked at her once more with hate filled eyes before turning to gather the last of his things.

"Choices? Yes sister let us talk of the decisions that you make. You gallivant around the city with criminals and you spend your nights with a pirate whore doing Maker knows what. I don't even know how many lines you've had to cross to get enough coin to even venture into The Deep Roads!"

The silence in the air was nearly deafening and when Hawke spoke her voice was deadly serious. "Everything, and I do mean everything I have done, has been in the interest of protecting this family and that includes you Carver!"

Her brother shook his head fiercely and hissed, "Hell have you Marian, because I won't. Do you know what I ask the Maker every single day? I ask him why he chose one sister over the other. Why did he choose you to live and Bethany to die?"

"Carver!" their mother gasped, shocked.

Hawke's anger flooded out of her in the wake of her brother's fury. "Do you truly hate me so? You will help the Templars hunt me and my kind now Carver? This is your choice?" she whispered sadly.

He glared at her. "No sister I won't turn you in. Unless you give me a reason to," he stated before leaving and slamming the door behind him.

Hawke felt devastated watching her brother disappear wearing the armor of the enemy. "He despises me."

Leandra put an arm around her daughter and held her close. "No he doesn't, your brother needs some time to work things out dear. Carver didn't mean those things, he would never betray you," her mother said soothingly. Hawke wasn't so sure, but thought it best to let the matter drop for now.

They were both quiet for several moments before Hawke forced a small smile and said, "Well mother on the bright side of things we are finally on our way to regaining the Amell estate."

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_Two Years Later_

Isabela sat comfortably in Varric's rooms at The Hanged Man drinking heartily of his ale. She wasn't quite drunk, but was well on her way to getting there. The dwarf sat across from her giving inebriation his best effort as well.

"Varric I just love it when you buy," the pirate purred at him.

Varric chortled. "Rivaini I buy your drinks every night. Your tab is so large that it would take you twenty years of indentured servitude to work off your debt."

Isabela leaned forward in her chair grinning, "I'd love to start working off that debt now Varric. You know how I've been dying to run my hands through that marvelous chest hair of yours."

"You still insist on objectifying me!"

The pirate giggled. "Well I'll drink to that," she said raising her mug and winking at him.

"Your flirtations are insufferable Rivaini," Varric grumbled.

"Oh you love it."

"Perhaps just a little," he admitted. "Besides who doesn't love attention from beautiful pirates?"

"From my experience there are a few," she commented dryly.

"Fools all of them," Varric said with conviction. "Hey you going to visit Hawke tonight?"

Isabela regarded him suspiciously for a moment and then shook her head. "No, I wasn't planning on it."

"You still haven't seen the estate have you? Its quite nice, the hero is moving up in the world."

Isabela sighed loudly. "I don't know Varric. I just don't feel like I belong there in Hightown. I prefer it here where I can relax in the dirt and squalor."

"Hmmmm, you know you have been avoiding her for a few weeks now."

"Oh Varric I only wanted to get plastered tonight," she whined before finally staring him down. "What exactly is this about? I'm beginning to suspect a setup."

The dwarf shrugged. "The kid is my friend. I'm just looking out for her. Seems like you are stringing her along a bit."

"I'm not playing games with her if that is what you mean. She and I have fun together occasionally and thats all there is to it."

Varric refilled both of their drinks and drank half of his mug in one large gulp. " Rivaini I'm just saying that I don't think she views it that way. Hawke knows who she got involved with and I don't think she would ever ask you to be someone else, but that doesn't mean she doesn't look hurt every time you drag someone else to your bed."

"Are you suggesting that I stop having sex with her?" Isabela asked looking disappointed.

Varric stared down at his now empty mug. "I think you just need to be more careful. Hell she is an apostate. Could probably turn into an abomination and destroy us all if you don't treat her right."

Isabela smiled and leaned back resting her head against the chair. "No she is too _good_ to ever do that. Rescuing kittens, saving children, feeding the old and defeating evil every chance she gets. She is so damn _good _that it is suffocating."

Varric frowned. "You think she is too good for you?"

"Yes, but that does mean I want to stop with her. Hell I need to get out of here. I'll see you and that sexy crossbow tomorrow," the pirate said as she bent and kissed Varric on his cheek.

When Isabela left Varric's room she had intended to go to the bar and drag a handsome sailor back to her room. Perhaps even a not so handsome one would have worked just as well, but she soon found herself abandoning that plan and strolling towards Hightown. The things Varric had said to her came as no surprise. Since she had met the mage a few years earlier Isabela could always feel Hawke's eyes following her everywhere. She also noticed that the younger woman had often appeared miserable when she spotted Isabela with someone else. At first Isabela had been incredibly uncomfortable as she became more and more aware of the mage's "crush" on her. Still during their encounters Hawke never mentioned the pirates other dalliances and thus their arrangement was vastly satisfying to the rogue.

Recently she had stayed away from Hawke's new estate in Hightown because she felt something else when the mage stared at her. Anger. Perhaps frustration. Varric wasn't completely correct about Isabela avoiding Hawke. The truth was that a few days before Hawke moved out of her uncle's home Isabela had brazenly approached the mage with every intention ravishing her body. Instead of welcoming her though, the mage had irritably pushed the pirate away and told her to 'sod off'. Isabela had been quite sloshed at the time so wasn't really offended, but since then Hawke had not been very receptive to her advances.

The truth was she did not know where she stood the other woman. Nor was she sure why she kept trying. The sex was incredibly satisfying, but the attachment was not. Except, that was not completely true Isabela admitted to herself.

There were many times when she and the mage sat alone together laughing and simply enjoying each others company. She smiled remembering a time when she had watched the mage blush fiercely while attempting to hold a straight face as Isabela read multiple naughty passages from one of her favorite erotic novels. But usually they would just lie back talking of life and dreams. Hawke would listen intently to her as she talked of her life on sea and how she longed to captain her own ship again.

Now as Isabela stood outside of Hawke's mansion she felt incredibly distressed. She did not want to lose this thing she had with the mage, but she was unwilling for it to go any further either. She was lost on how to proceed.

Bodahn answered the door when she knocked and appeared genuinely pleased to see her. "Captain Isabela! I'm afraid Serah Hawke isn't in at the moment, but you are more than welcome to wait for her until she returns from Merrill's house. I believe she went there for a visit."

Isabela only hesitated a moment before walking inside. She glanced behind her at Bodahn who was attempting to stand straighter than normal in her presence. The pirate grinned at him. "Bodahn you are being obnoxiously formal."

The dwarf didn't appear at all offended. "Serah Hawke is an important person now. Her visitors need to be treated with the utmost respect."

"Well if you feel better about it I suppose I can't complain about the title," she replied. Isabela walked into a large open room. There were a few desks in front of her, one of which was piled with stacks of parchments which she suspected were more requests for assistance. Hawke had a very irritating habit of accepting every cry for help that she received and somehow Isabela always managed to get dragged along with her.

"Not enchantment," Sandal said as he held up a mug to her. Isabela sniffed at the liquid and was pleased to discover ale.

"Thank you Sandal that was thoughtful," she said kindly.

The young dwarf clapped his hands and grinned. "Not enchantment!" he said laughing. Isabela laughed along with him. "Indeed," she agreed and sipped the liquid. She decided to take a tour of the house while she waited for Hawke to return. After wandering through most of the rooms she came to the conclusion that the mansion was much too stuffy and there didn't seem to be much here that reminded her of the mage. Hawke was not one for material possessions and Isabela assumed that the purchasing of the estate was simply a gift of returning the Amell family home to her mother.

When she walked into Hawke's bedroom there was more of a sense of familiarity. An old chest sat close to the door and to her right a rather worn desk had been placed in the corner of the room. Piled on the desk were a few stacks of books that Isabela found incredibly yawn worthy. Mostly titles on the history of the Tevinter Imperium and Chantry law. Hawke's journal lay open on the desk though and Isabela was too curious to let the opportunity pass her by. Unfortunately there were no juicy bits and Isabela was disappointed to find that any mention of her name was fairly mundane.

"_Isabela and I spent a nice evening together and talked late into the night_," she muttered in a snotty tone as she read from the journal. Spotting a quill and some ink the pirate took a few moments to draw a few pictures in the journal that in her opinion more accurately described how she and Hawke spent their evenings together. When she left the room and she saw that Sandal was waiting for her on the stairs.

"Enchantment?" he asked and pointed to the banister.

Isabela regarded him for a moment and looked at the railing. "She would probably be irritated with me."

"Enchantment!"

"Well if you insist, but I'm not taking the full blame for this," Isabela said as she pulled out her dagger and carved a few crude pictures into the bannister. "Well there we go Sandal. That is art if I have ever seen it."

Isabela heard the door open and walked down to the foot of the stairs. Both Bodahn and Sandal made a quick exit when Hawke entered the room and saw the pirate. While it didn't appear to be completely mutual Isabela found she was genuinely happy to see the apostate. "Hawke!" she announced cheerfully. "I hope you don't mind, but I've made myself comfortable."

"Isabela I am...surprised to see you. Do you like my home?"

The pirate looked around at the beautiful yet sterile house and felt very out of place. "Yes it has a certain something if you are into stuffy wealth, but certainly lacks the charm of Lowtown. No muggings, no whores plying their trade. Its just not for me."

Hawke chuckled and moved further into the room. She pulled her shoes off at her desk and asked, "Why are you here?"

Isabela bit her lip and frowned. She definitely sensed something wrong between them. "Well I thought I would come and see you as it has been awhile since you've come to see me. You see I have this itch that needs to be scratched."

"Well you can get your thrills in Hightown if you know where to look," Hawke said in her most sultry voice.

Isabela laughed delighted. "Is that so? Ah my Hawke, even when you try for sexy you still blush like the waves of hell!" Hawke sighed and smiled sheepishly as she leaned against the wall near the stairs. Isabela sauntered up to her and placed her hands on either side of the mage and leaned close. "Are you going to tell me whats been bothering you or will you make me guess?"

Hawke sighed again and in a low voice said, "I'd rather we just get to it."

Isabela raised and eyebrow and smirked. "Well now you are speaking my language," she replied and then practically dragged the mage behind her and when she reached the top of the stairs she tossed Hawke into the room and jumped on her hips propelling them towards the bed. Their coupling was not loving or gentle, but instead something more animalistic and carnal. When Hawke tried to be soft Isabela would scratch or bite at the mage's skin forcing her to respond in kind.

After Isabela rolled out of bed and began pulling on her clothes Hawke's voice was tight as she asked, "Leaving so quickly? Are you going to find a second conquest tonight or perhaps am I already further down the list and you are going for number three?"

The pirate turned around quickly. "What is the about Hawke?"

Hawke got out of bed on pulled on her robe before answering. "You come here for a quick bang and then leave as quickly as you can. Is this all I am to you Isabela?"

"Don't act as if you didn't enjoy it. Your body aches for my touch."

"I'm not talking of sex. I'm talking about...feelings," Hawke said sadly. "Is there no hope for something more between us? Its been more than two years Isabela, is this all we will ever have?"

Isabela pinched the area between her eyes and groaned. "If you are speaking of love then I must say I don't think so. Love can go pester someone else," she said before turning back to Hawke. "Have I ever told you that I was married? Yes, I was sold as a child to a man who decided he had to have me. My bitch of a mother sold me for a few coins and a goat without even haggling over the price."

Hawke's face softened as she replied, "No you have not told me this. I cannot even imagine you married."

"Well its true. I was his plaything that he flaunted about. Nothing more than a prized possession," she muttered angrily.

"What happened to him?" Hawke asked curiously.

"Oh, he was assassinated and before you wonder about it, no I wasn't responsible, but I do hold the knife wielder in the highest esteem. After he died I swore I would never be trapped by marriage again."

"I'm sorry," Hawke said gently. "Isabela have you never been in love?"

The pirate considered the question for awhile before answering. "Yes Hawke, I have been in love. I met him shortly after my husband died. We were young and infatuated and then he foolishly asked for my hand. I refused to be tied down again and fled. So you see I am a terrible person who breaks the hearts of those who unwisely choose to love me," she said pointedly as she gazed at the younger woman.

Hawke hesitated and put hand on the pirate's shoulder. "It doesn't have to be like this. I know you care for me as I care for you. Isabela you don't have to push me away."

Isabela pulled away and turned to leave the room. "You are trying to confuse the issue Hawke. This isn't love or feelings, its sex, nothing more," she said as she pulled the door shut behind her. Moments later when she was outside in the cool air she whispered to herself, "You were right Varric, I have let this go too far."

**A/N2:** _Okay I will admit it. I changed some of the dialogue and I plan to do it again! I did try to not alter them too much, but for plot purposes some changes had to be made. The first argument between Carver and Hawke needed to be raw and angry which I only felt a hint of in the game. Also I hope by __now that all of you readers see my Hawke as a serious and somewhat subdued woman who is clearly infatuated with Isabela. Isabela is the stronger personality in this relationship, but I thought to myself that there is no way that Hawke would be okay with Isabela's antics for this long. She would eventually have to say something. But even still I felt that Isabela dominated the conversation. Anyways I know there wasn't too much humor here and I hate to say it, but there are some sad times on the way in chapter 4. It might take me a few days to get that one out as it is the chapter that inspired this story to begin with. I just want to get it right. Once again please read and review. I really do appreciate it. :)_


	4. Chapter 4 FluffnStuff

_**A/N: **Okay I slightly lied a lot. At the end of the last chapter I said that I would be writing the chapter that inspired this story to be written. Well that part is now going to be in Chapter 5. In the meantime I felt that some things needed to be addressed and said between the characters so expect some angst and fluffnstuff. You might recognize some of the conversations from the game, but I once again added to them and hopefully fleshed them out. Thanks to those who have left reviews so far. I'm writing this story for you. :) Mostly this chapter is an appetizer while I work on the entree. :) Enjoy and review! Thank you!  
><em>

_**Disclaimer:** My lawyers say I have no legal rights to these characters. I wonder if perhaps there is a conspiracy against me. At the very least I need to have that restraining order lifted. There is no chance Bioware will listen to me otherwise!._

_**Chapter Four**_

"I think you are an idiot you know," Aveline stated with conviction as the four companions walked back towards Lowtown through the Smuggler's Cut caves.

"Yes I know you've told me as much three times already," Hawke sighed.

"Well I obviously I haven't told you nearly enough because you clearly aren't listening!"

Merrill suddenly squeezed herself between the two women. "I'm sure what Aveline really means to say is that she believes you should reconsider your current course of action," the young elf said in a conciliatory tone.

"No! I actually did mean to tell her she is an idiot, because she is one," the big warrior said irritably.

"Aveline it just a gift! I don't understand why you are so adamant against it."

Aveline grabbed Hawke's arm and spun her around so that they could face each other. "No Hawke it is _not_ just a gift. It is you curling your tail up between your legs and crawling back to that woman who plays you like a fiddle! She has done nothing but use you, and I for one am sick of seeing it happen!"

Merrill squeaked and attempted to push the two women apart, but her actions were about as effective as an ant pushing against a building. Anders who had been following behind the three women kept himself a safe distance away. "Perhaps ladies we can continue this discussion when we are topside?" he suggested amiably. Neither woman paid him any attention as they stared angrily at one another.

"Isabela and I are just friends now! We haven't been together in months. This is a simply a gift for a friend," Hawke hissed between her teeth.

"Just friends?" Aveline asked sarcastically. "Is your _friendship_ why you stare at her constantly or why you weep when you see her with other men and women? Have any of your other friends ever caused you such misery Hawke?"

"You know it is a bit musty down here and there are a lot of bugs. I really dislike bugs you know. They are creepy crawly things," Anders muttered behind them.

"Aveline I won't lie to you that it has been hard for me, but I promise you that it is over between us. Its just a ship in a bottle."

Aveline looked at her friend sadly and shook her head. "Its never _just_ anything with you two Marian. You can never _just_ look at her like she is a friend. You are the moth and she is the flame and you are continually drawn to her even though doing so will destroy you. It is breaking my heart to watch you do this to yourself night after night." The warrior paused before continuing. "Its like you are punishing yourself."

Hawke turned her head away and stared at a wall. "Its not like that," she said unconvincingly. "Please lets just head back up to the surface," she muttered as she turned and walked ahead of the others.

Aveline watched Hawke walk away and groaned. "I didn't approach that well at all did I?" she asked Merrill.

"Well you were being a little too honest perhaps. Not that she couldn't use some honesty, but I think maybe a little less abruptness would have gone over a tad better. Oh maybe you should have given her a hug after you finished yelling! Hugs always make everyone better don't you think?"

Aveline decided to ignore that suggestion. "I just don't see why she continually throws herself at that damn pirate," she said frustrated.

"Well have you seen that 'damn' pirate's arse? I can think of a few reasons Hawke might throw herself at the woman. Especially her breasts. Those are very nice if you are asking my opinion."

Aveline snapped her head around to glare at Anders. "I'm not and you aren't helping." In response the apostate held his hands up in surrender.

Merrill tilted her head thoughtfully as they walked along. "I think perhaps that Hawke loves Isabela and one doesn't stop doing that do they? Perhaps their souls are connected and they are just struggling against coming together," she suggested helpfully.

The warrior snorted. "You might be right about Hawke's feelings, but I can assure you that Isabela doesn't feel the same. She only ever wanted one thing and I think she got it."

"It does present an appealing image doesn't it? Two women, both sweating..."

"Anders!" Aveline said sternly.

"Sorry sorry! I'll just continue to walk along quietly back here. Just ignore poor Anders."

Merrill was quiet for a few moments before she finally responded. "Aveline I think perhaps you are wrong about Isabela. I see her sometimes watch Hawke and she looks so terribly sad and I think maybe guilty too."

"She is guilty because she sleeps with a different person each and every night!" Aveline accused.

The young elf shook her head. "No. I don't think she does. Varric has been teaching me a lot about a game called poker lately. Its very interesting! I've learned all kinds of useful skills like bluffing and cheating. He says cheating is expected in poker just so long as you don't get caught. Anyways Isabela always seems to flirt with somebody different each night until Hawke leaves and then she joins us for our poker games. She always walks me home too since her new apartment is near the alienage. Sometimes she even stays at my home and sleeps on the extra mat I keep. The extra mat is useful because you never know when you will have company."

Aveline frowned and asked, "So you are saying that she just tortures Hawke for fun then?"

Merrill considered the question. "No, I think perhaps in her own way she believes she is doing what is best for Hawke by pushing her away."

"Gossip is great fun isn't it?" Anders quipped behind them.

"Anders!"

"Yes yes I know. Best seen and not heard," the apostate sighed.

* * *

><p>*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*<p>

Aveline's angry words bore heavily on Hawke's mind as she made her way through Lowtown towards The Hanged Man. The warrior had looked disappointed but didn't offer an opinion when Hawke didn't continue towards her mansion in Hightown. Hawke acknowledged that there was some truth in her friend's vehement words, but could not accept them completely. Since their last night together when they spoke of love Isabela seemed insistent upon keeping her distance. If not for the relic that the pirate continued to seek with unflinching fervor, Hawke would have expected Isabela to have fled and joined the crew of the nearest ship she could find. Captainhood be damned.

Hawke placed her hand in the small satchel she carried at her waist and pulled out the bottle she had found. Inside of it there was a remarkable ship that had been crafted by a very talented hand. She knew that Isabela would love it and secretly she hoped that the gift would act as a bridge towards mending the rift between them.

If she thought that the pirate wasn't interested then Hawke truly believed she would stop trying. But there were times when Isabela would inadvertently reveal herself. Like the time she would reach out a helpful hand after a battle and Hawke could see the conflict in the pirate's eyes before they turned hard again. Other times Isabela would purposely flaunt potential lovers in front of Hawke, but she never once left with them. Merrill had told her as much and that truth was more telling about Isabela's feelings than any other.

She clutched the bottle in her hands as she reached the bar. Hawke didn't know if such a small gift as the ship in a bottle could bring Isabela back to her, but she could hope. A couple of other regulars outside nodded their heads in her direction. She recognized a few of them and smiled in return. Inside she spotted the pirate immediately. Isabela sat alone at the bar dangling a mug from her fingertips. Her entire body stiffened as Hawke approached, but she didn't turn around.

"Hawke," the pirate said warily.

"I have a gift for you. Its something I found tonight."

Isabela turned on her stool and her expression softened when Hawke offered her the bottle. The pirate gazed at Hawke conflicted for a moment before accepting the gift. "This is exquisite," she said as she held the bottle close to her face so she could get a better look at the ship.

Hawke leaned in closely grinning. "You can't see it, but below deck there is a perfect replica of you with a dozen sailors in attendance."

Isabela giggled delighted. "Oh you tease, but its definitely a worthy goal to work towards!"

The two women grinned at each other before Isabela sighed and the smile faded from her face. "This was a very thoughtful gift. Thank you so much Hawke," she said sincerely. An uncomfortable silence grew between them and Hawke started to walk away when Isabela placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No matter how I try I just can't get you out of my system."

Hawke didn't turn around and her voice choked in her throat when she replied. "Then why do you try?"

Isabela hesitated, but responded truthfully and sadly. "Because I am not good for you. I am not what you need."

Hawke pulled away from the pirate, but continued to stand with her back to the other woman. "I don't think you should always be the one who decides what is best for us, for me," a pause and then, "I know you never sleep with any of them."

The hand on Hawke's shoulder clenched hard and then Isabela spun the mage around and drew her face close for a passionate kiss that was filled with longing. The other patrons watched them curiously and chattered excitedly but neither woman cared. When they pulled apart Hawke looked joyously happy. "Come home with me Isabela. I've missed you terribly," she confessed.

The pirate pulled away and looked miserable. "I'm sorry Hawke I shouldn't have done that. Its just that I wasn't thinking. Look I need to go home...I'm sorry."

Hawke stood stunned as she watched the pirate hurriedly leave the bar. On the outside she allowed no emotion to show, but on the inside she could feel her heart breaking.

* * *

><p>*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*<p>

Betrayal. Its a nasty word that has no redeeming qualities. Its bitter taste lingers on the tongue and no amount of ale can wash it away. The Fade had been a success in that Feynriel had been saved. The boy had begged for Hawke to end his life, but she had refused. She knew that he had it within him to control his power and had convinced him of a better path. Her words while encouraging to the boy rang hollow in her own heart.

Varric and Isabela had both been seduced by the false promises of the demons. Now as she sat alone at a table in the corner of the Hanged Man she couldn't help but feel anger swell in her heart. Merrill kept taking peeks at her from across the room, but Hawke wasn't feeling receptive towards company on this night. It didn't take long though for Varric to stroll over with his head hung low. He sat down at her table without asking and sighed loudly.

"Look Hawke I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about what happened in the Fade. Nothing in there felt real. I would never choose a demon over you while conscious and sober."

Hawke laughed a little and felt some of her anger evaporate. She could never stay cross with Varric for long. "So what you are telling me that I don't have to worry about you running off with a desire demon. Unless you are passed out drunk that is?"

Varric lifted his head proudly and proclaimed, "I can safely say milady that if I am passed out drunk then I am not running anywhere! Anyway I guess I'll stop babbling now. Nobody wants to see me doing a Merrill impression anyways," the handsome dwarf said gruffly.

Hawke smiled at him. "I forgive you Varric, I know you would never purposely hurt me. You are a good friend."

Varric nodded and stood up. "As are you Hawke. Look I'd stay for a few drinks, but I think there is someone else that would like to apologize as well," he said as he nodded his head to the side.

Hawke looked over and saw Isabela leaning against a wall watching them. She sauntered over and sat in Varric's stool once he walked away. The pirate didn't say anything but just sadly stared at Hawke with her bewitching eyes. Marian ripped her gaze away from the other woman. "I like big boats, I cannot lie! Really Isabela?" Hawke muttered irritably.

The pirate groaned and put her head in hands so she didn't have to look at Hawke's ire. "Well its true and the blighted demon knew it too!. Look I didn't mean to betray you in the fade. Bollocks I didn't even get the ship in the end! Its not going to sound like much, but that wasn't real for any of us. I wouldn't do that to you here. You should know that."

Hawke sighed. She wanted to continue to be angry at the pirate for this offense, but deep down knew that it was only because she was angry about other things. "I forgive you Isabela," she said finally as she decided to let the matter go.

The pirate on the other hand was shocked. "What? No angry rant where you shoot a lightning bolt up my arse?"

Hawke shrugged deflated. "You seem almost disappointed."

"Well no its not that. I think I just expected you to make an attempt on my life."

Hawke chose her words carefully. "You walked away from me the last time we were together. You kissed me and then left me standing there. I am angry with you Isabela, but not over the Fade. Please I just wish to be alone right now. I need to think about some things."

Isabela nodded and stood up. She placed her hand over Hawke's as it lay on the table. "Look Hawke, I know I've made some mistakes in regard to you, but I honestly feel like I've had your best interests in mind."

Hawke chuckled sadly and replied, "I once said something very similar to my brother concerning the choices he had been making. He told me he was a man and that he was capable of living his life. I was wrong to interfere then just as you are wrong now.

"Perhaps so," was all the reply the pirate conceded. "We can talk more about this tomorrow?"

"Yes I think I would like that."


	5. Chapter 5 A Day in the Life

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. Its actually quite a bit longer than most of my chapters, but it refused to contain itself. There are a few spots where I feel it bogs down, but overall I feel pretty proud of this one. More thoughts at the bottom. Also I am hoping it will be obvious, but this chapter flips back and forth between periods of the day. Anything in italics happened earlier, regular type is now. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I like turtles, but I don't own them.

**Chapter 5**

Isabela lay restless in her bed listening to the thunderclaps that rocked the city. The sky hadn't given any indication of rain earlier in the day, but she assumed that a storm must have rolled in from the ocean. It was appropriate, she thought, as the weather mirrored her own rocky emotions. The day should have been a good one and it had indeed started that way...

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

"_Eggs are gross."_

"_Kitten what are you talking about? Eggs are delicious and they are good for you! I'm pretty sure they increase sexual prowess," Isabela said conspiratorially and winked._

_Merrill wrinkled her nose and frowned at the mound of greasy eggs on Isabela's plate. Also on the plate were several slices of bacon, three biscuits and a few links of sausage. "Varric told me to never pay attention to you when you say something is good for me."_

"_Did he now? I'll be speaking to Varric about this," she muttered through a mouthful of food. "What does he know? Tell me when have I ever led you wrong?"_

_The elf considered the question. "Well there was that time you tried to set me up on that blind date..."_

_Isabela choked a little bit on her biscuit. "I had no way of knowing that he was a slaver!"_

"_There was also that time you told me we were going to borrow some items from a friend of yours, but we ended up stealing ale from the Viscount's personal stock. I felt terrible about that," Merrill said sadly._

"_Well it wasn't like he was drinking it and if we hadn't been there then we couldn't have rescued those puppies in that alley on the way back could we of? Besides who's to say that it wasn't a loan that I just haven't paid back yet?"_

_Merrill smiled. "I don't remember any puppies Isabela."_

"_Hmmmm maybe that was a different mission."_

"_How about that time you suggested to me that Hawke would think it funny if I pushed her into the lake?"_

_Isabela finally relented. "Okay maybe that wasn't the best idea! I didn't know she couldn't swim!"_

_The two women started laughing and Isabela threw a biscuit at the elf which hit her squarely on the forehead. Merrill looked stunned which only caused Isabela to laugh all the more. _

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

The storm raged on outside but Isabela paid it little heed. The turbulent nature of her own thoughts overwhelmed any sense she might have had of the storm raging only a few feet from where she lay. She had choices to make and she needed to decide soon. Isabela knew she had made some terrible decisions and wanted to be more cautious this time around. Lives hung in the balance.

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

_That afternoon Isabela strolled through Hightown on her way to visit Hawke's mansion. She had a few misgivings in that she was pretty sure Hawke would want to talk about feelings, and sharing and then back to feelings which would then be sprinkled with a dash of sappiness. This stuff wasn't so bad some of the time if she knew that there would be sex afterward, but honestly she didn't think that Hawke would be in much of a randy mood. _

_Isabela on the other hand felt completely sex starved. When she had ended things with Hawke a few months prior she intended to take a new lover that very evening and each night after until she purged the mage from her system. But then something unexpected happened. As Isabela dragged an excited man into an alley behind the bar she suddenly realized that the desire was not there. Not for this man, not after leaving Hawke the way she did. She tried to politely explain to him that she suddenly was not in the mood and when he persisted she once again explained her position, but this time with a dagger pressing into his precious jewels. It didn't take him any time after that to agree that there was clearly no chemistry between them._

_The next night Isabela purposely flirted with a beautiful young elven woman in front of Hawke while at The Hanged Man. It was a cruel and heartless thing to do and she ached with regret even as she kissed the stranger. When Hawke left the bar moments later Isabela felt disgusted. The pirate pulled away from the confused elf without saying another word and stomped to the other end of the bar. She sat alone and glared at anyone who dared approach her. A few hours of heavy drinking guaranteed that she couldn't think, couldn't feel anything and she relished the numbness. _

_The problem was obvious. Isabela simply did not want to have sex with random strangers anymore. While her tastes had always ran equally between both men and women there was only one person that the pirate constantly lusted after. She wasn't even completely sure why. Yes, Hawke was beautiful, stunningly so in fact, but Isabela had bedded many others who were attractive and had never wanted to see any of them in the morning. Hawke also had the most annoying habit of trying to discuss politics after sex. She would ramble on and on about the Viscount or the Qunari or some other such matter and Isabela would have to kiss her to get her to shut up. However, there were those times when the mage reminded her of him. The way she smiled and her eyes lit up. Or how flustered and embarrassed Hawke became when Isabela told a dirty joke. These things and more reminded her so much of him that after awhile she couldn't bring herself to pull away._

_And it was her own bloody fault really. She had stayed too long. She had grown too attached and too damn comfortable. It had been easy to stay with the mage. When they were together Isabela found she was able to forget about the relic and what she had to do. Forgetting was dangerous._

_So for Hawke's own good, Isabela finally decided to drive her away. As painful as it would be now, it __would hurt so much more for both of them later. Isabela knew that she would eventually break the other woman's heart and so in a misguided act of mercy she had done everything possible to make Hawke hate her. It might have all eventually worked too if not for the gift. The small ship in a bottle that Hawke had presented to her as a token of...something. _

_She could have, should have, let Hawke slip away. That would have been the end of it, but just for the slightest of moments Isabela saw the end in Hawke's eyes as well. The pirate had panicked and without thinking reached out stopping the mage with a hand to the shoulder and a confession from her heart. For the first time in their relationship, if one could call it that, Isabela felt out of control. She had had no witty remarks or sly smirks, only uncertainty and so in the end she ran and left Hawke standing alone. Not one of her finer moments Isabela admitted to herself. _

_When she reached Hawke's mansion she strode inside without knocking. Neither Bodahn or Sandal were in attendance and it took her a few moments of searching to find Hawke who was making a mess in the kitchen. The mage was covered in flour and there were several burnt cakes strewn about the counter. Isabela raised an eyebrow, but thought better of making any jokes. For her part, Hawke managed to act as if this situation was not completely ridiculous as she mixed batter in a large bowl. Several uncomfortable seconds passed before she looked up. _

"_I didn't know if you would show up," Hawke said smiling slightly._

_Isabela shrugged. "I've missed you."_

_Hawke picked up her batter dish and poured the contents into a new baking pan. "Its nice to know that you've missed me, but that doesn't explain why you've been treating me like dirt for the past two months," Hawke said in a calm voice. There was a glob of cake batter on her nose._

"_I...Hawke what are you doing with all of these burnt cakes?"_

"_It's mother's birthday tomorrow. I've been in here all morning trying to perfect this cake recipe, but as you can see I've had a few difficulties. Bethany had a real talent in the kitchen you know, and even Carver isn't half bad, but he isn't talking to me right now so I thought I would go it alone this year. Besides how hard can it be? I've slayed Darkspawn, defeated the Fade..."_

"_You've also thoroughly defeated these cakes," Isabela interrupted happily as she picked up a wash rag and wiped the cake batter off of Hawke's nose. The mage froze at Isabela's touch and the pirate couldn't resist kissing her. She tilted the mage's head to the side and softly placed her lips upon Hawke's. The kiss was gentle, but as always with Isabela, also filled with suggestion._

_Hawke suddenly pulled away and held out a hand to stop the pirate from coming any closer. "Damn it Isabela you always do this! You saunter in here, kiss me, drag me to bed and somehow make me forget about the issue! Well not this time!"_

"_Great sex does that," Isabela said agreeably as she poked a finger into Hawke's cake batter and tasted it between her lips. She took her time sucking and licking the batter from her finger. _

_Hawke watched this display with an open mouth before shaking her head to regain her senses. "I...umm...what were we talking about?" she asked confused._

"_The issue," Isabela replied smirking._

"_Oh yes the issue." Hawke said before planting her face in her hands. "I'm not going to win this one am I?"_

"_Not a chance."_

_Hawke laughed a little. "You said that to me the first time we were together," the mage said sighing. __"So what happens now Isabela? I give in, you drag me upstairs, screw me then leave?"_

_Isabela snickered and remarked, "Well as appealing as that thought is I'll have to decline. That cake batter of yours is horrendous Hawke! One would think that you despise your mother if you intend to serve her this on her birthday. Personally I've always like Leandra so I suppose its upon me to stop this tragedy from happening."_

_Hawke's eyes widened. "What? What's wrong with it?"_

_The pirate began counting things off on her fingers. "Extra salt, no sugar, lumpy, extra salt..."_

"_You said extra salt twice."_

"_Extra extra salt," Isabela replied smirking._

"_Ugh well what am I supposed to do? I've been making these bloody cakes all morning and not a single one has turned out acceptable."_

"_I suppose I'll have to help you," Isabela said as she tied an apron around her waist._

_Hawke frowned at her. "You're a pirate. You know how to cook?" the mage asked disbelieving._

"_One is not necessarily inclusive of the other you know."_

_Isabela began to expertly grab ingredients, measure them out and place them in a fresh bowl. She growled at Hawke when the mage attempted to hand her the salt. Finally Marian sat down on a stool and watched the other woman work. "Isabela when did you learn how to bake?"_

"_Oh Merrill and I have had many meals together. We have kind of taught each other the craft over the past couple of years."_

_Hawke's voice was tight when she replied, "I didn't know you two spent so much time together."_

_Isabela giggled. "You sound jealous love. There's no need. If the past few months have proven anything to me its that I only lust after your knickers."_

"_I wasn't going to make it this easy for you," Hawke said softly, "I wanted to punish you and make you feel as terrible as I've felt. But here you are and Maker help me, I am just happy to see you. I'd just like to know if I matter at all to you."_

_Isabela's hands stopped moving and her shoulders slumped. "You matter Hawke. You matter to me. Look I'm sorry for how I've treated you, truly I am. I didn't want to hurt you, I thought I was trying to spare you hurt in the long run. I am...not good in relationships. You must believe that in this matter my intentions were pure, even if my actions were not."_

_Hawke looked up, eyes hopeful and blurted out, "I want you..." but she was interrupted when Sandal burst through the door looking panicked. "Scary!" he yelled frantic._

_Bodahn stumbled in a few seconds later. "Serah Hawke! Your mother was taken in the market. A young lad saw it all happen. She was supposed to meet a man today. He has been leaving these," he panted as he held up a white lily._

_Hawke and Isabela looked at each other in shock as the blood drained from their faces._

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

Isabela must have drifted off into a fitful sleep because a pounding at her front door startled her awake. In a split second though she was instantly alert and had both daggers in her hands ready to strike. The pounding came again and this time was accompanied by a familiar voice.

"Isabela open up! Hurry!" Merrill shouted.

The pirate threw open the door to find Merrill staring at her looking shell shocked. "Merrill what's the matter? Is it a hurricane?" she asked as looked around at the destruction the storm had thus far caused.

Merrill placed a trembling hand on Isabela arm. "No, its Hawke."

Isabela processed the destruction around her for less than a second before she was off racing towards the heart of the storm. She thought she heard Merrill yelling behind her, but didn't stop to check. Nothing mattered except that she get to Hawke.

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

_Revulsion roared through Isabela's body as she started at the thing that used to be Hawke's mother stumble awkwardly towards her daughter. Hawke caught her mother in her arms and laid carefully her down upon the floor. Leandra's last words were of pride and love for her daughter, and Isabela felt sick. Hawke held her dead mother in her arms for a long while before Merrill and Aveline knelt beside her whispering calm words into her ear. Isabela could not hear what they were saying, but somehow felt that no matter what words were spoken they would ring hollow. There was no comforting this. A hug and a kind word would not make this feel better._

_Isabela glared at the monster responsible and wanted to kill him again. Quentin's corpse lay where she had dispatched him. One dagger to the heart, the other through his eye. She felt regret in that his end had been so quick. Behind her she heard movement and turned to see Hawke struggling with Aveline. The big warrior was trying without success to convince Hawke to let her carry Leandra's body. The pirate's heart ached as she watched Hawke lift her mother's corpse and carry her a few steps before she fell to the ground._

_The mage's voice broke when she said, "I'm not strong enough." _

_Aveline was there in a second though and laid a gentle hand on Hawke's shoulder. "Let me be your strength Marian." The big woman easily lifted Leandra's body and cradled the dead woman in her strong arms. Without another word the four companions left Quentin's lair and made the long trip back to Hightown in silence._

_Isabela walked behind the other three staring at the light hand that Merrill rested on Hawke's back. Comfort came so easy to others, but she could find no words within her that would make this tragedy less that it was. When they reached the mansion both Aveline and Merrill took command in their own way. Merrill wrapped an arm around Hawke and guided her upstairs saying that she would get the mage cleaned up. Isabela observed that the Hawke didn't argue or say anything at all. She just seemed numb._

_Once they were upstairs Aveline began issuing commands to the guardsmen who had followed behind them once they had returned to the surface. Isabela ignored the soldiers and went to pour herself a few drinks. Finally she found herself wandering into the kitchen. Only a few short hours earlier she and Hawke had been making cakes and now..._

"_Burnt cakes for a dead mother. Seems appropriate somehow," she muttered. _

"_What was that?" Aveline asked behind her._

_Isabela turned around holding a piece of burnt cake. "Hawke was trying to make a birthday cake for her mother. Leandra's birthday is tomorrow," she said sadly. "She wasn't having much success though."_

_Aveline ignored the cake. "I don't like you, never have really."_

"_Okaaaay. Thanks for letting me know. Good timing as well," Isabela said sarcastically._

"_You're irresponsible, undependable and you walk all over others without a care for anyone but yourself. Still Hawke seems to see something in you. Maker only knows what, but she cares for you."_

"_Not that I don't appreciate the kind thoughts, but why are you telling me this Aveline?" Isabela asked disgruntled._

"_She is going to need someone now and I am wondering if you have the guts to stick around."_

_The pirate was saved from responding when Merrill walked into the room. "Oh look burnt cakes. Why would anyone want to burn cakes? That doesn't make much sense does it?" the young elf asked perplexed._

"_Merrill how is Hawke?" Isabela inquired nervously._

"_Oh sorry I wasn't thinking. She would like to see you. She didn't say so, but Hawke is very sad. Maybe you could make her feel better Isabela."_

_Isabela could feel Aveline's eyes boring into her as if she were expecting the pirate to fail in this. Gritting her teeth she left the room walked towards Hawke's room. She found the woman sitting on her bed quietly. No emotion, no tears, she was just sitting there. For a reason she couldn't determine this bothered Isabela more than weeping would have._

"_I feel that I should say something."_

_Hawke looked up and shrugged. "Its okay, I know you aren't good at the emotional stuff."_

_The moment felt uncomfortable and Isabela searched within herself for some reassuring words. "That man is dead, he will never hurt anyone again."_

_Hawke said nothing though and stared straight ahead at the wall. She never once looked at Isabela. A few minutes later Hawke asked to be alone. She requested that Isabela send their friends home as well. _

_The pirate nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow Hawke." When there was still no response Isabela left._

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

Isabela found Hawke near the foundry and instantly stopped in her tracks. Lightning crashed all around the mage and there were nearly a dozen dead men near the her feet. Hawke's hands were raised to the sky and energy crackled all around her. Flashes of energy emanated from her eyes and it was one of the most frightening things Isabela had ever witnessed.

Hawke, ever gentle Hawke who never took a life when she could instead spare one was now a raging force of nature. Two men tried to flank the mage and Isabela tried to shout a warning above the chaos, but needn't have worried. The very moment they got close bolts of lightning shot through them killing both men instantly. They fell to the ground burnt, nothing more than charred husks that used to be men.

Merrill finally caught up to her. Aveline and Anders were at her side.

Anders shouted, "Templars are coming! They will kill her if we don't do something!"

Isabela didn't hesitate. She rushed forward and perhaps Hawke was aware of her presence and protected her or the Maker himself lent a helping hand because she was never once touched as she bolted through the lightning storm. When she reached Hawke it seemed like she had entered the center of a storm. There was silence and only the two of them existed.

The mage seemed wild with rage and grief. Tears streaked down her face yet her voice shook with fury when she spoke. "Isabela you shouldn't be here."

"Nonsense. It seems you've decided to murder the city. My choices here are either to join you or die like those guys. Personally I while I like a good tan, I think being charred black is going a bit too far. So here I am? Do you see any innocent children about to terrorize? Oh maybe old people! They move slower so that would help get our body count up higher!"

Hawke's eyes sparked lightning and her anger knew no bounds. "This is not a joke Isabela! These people could have stopped this! How many countless women were dragged here against their will and no one tried to stop it? There must be justice! And I will make them _pay_ for their negligence!"

Isabela looked at the mage sadly. "This won't bring your sister or your mother back Hawke. What you are doing here," she paused searching for words, "this is not you. There is no justice in this act. Please we must go. Templars are coming and they will try to kill you." Isabela grasped Hawke's hand and the energy burned her, but she did not let go.

"Let them come! They cannot stop me!" Hawke hissed.

The pirate pulled on Hawke's arm trying to drag her away. "No I don't think they could stop you, but do you intend to kill them all? What if Carver is among them, will you kill him too?"

Suddenly, as if it had never existed in the first place the storm ceased to exist. Voices and shouts filled the air and Isabela threw a worried glance over her shoulder. Templars were finally coming into view, but the terrified crowd blocked their way. There was still a chance to get away before Hawke was recognized. This time when she pulled the mage didn't resist. Moments later they were racing through alleyways and eventually Isabela led them to a sewer entrance. She didn't think they had been followed, but still took the long route back to her apartment. Hawke never spoke a word and kept close.

When she finally felt that they were safe Isabela quickly led the mage towards her apartment. There was a secret back entrance that made the place cost a bundle, but she thought it well worth the price. Once inside Hawke collapsed to knees and sobbed, seemingly overwhelmed by the grief she had kept at bay during their escape. Isabela pulled the other woman to her feet and undressed her down to her undergarments. Hawke did not protest as tears ran freely down her face. The pirate pulled Hawke gently down on the bed and held her in a comforting embrace. "Let it out Hawke, let it all out. I am here for you and I will not let go," Isabela whispered into her ear. Hawke leaned into the pirate's strong arms and wept against her shoulder. She wept for what seemed like hours, but Isabela did not pull away.

"I should not have left you earlier. I am so sorry Hawke, I should have been better for you. I should have stayed when I knew you hurt so. I am so very sorry," she said regretfully as she kissed the top of the mage's head.

Sometime later when her tears had ceased Hawke spoke and her voice was filled with sorrow. "I have nothing now. My sister is dead. My mother is dead. My brother hates me. All of this power and I could not protect any of them. I have nothing."

Isabela squeezed her tighter. "No, not nothing Hawke, you have me."

Hawke pulled back and stared at at the pirate. Her eyes were red from crying, but now they blazed with an intensity that Isabela could not have described if she tried.

"Do I have you Isabela? Each time I grasp you pull away and I am left empty."

"I am here now. Is that enough?"

Hawke leaned in and kissed her hard. "Then love me now Isabela. If only just for this one night. I need to feel anything else, anything but _this_. Please take this pain away and make me forget," she begged fervently.

Isabela rolled over and straddled the mage's hips. She stared into Hawke's eyes for permission and when she received it she made passionate love to the mage until exhaustion took them both. However, sleep would not claim Isabela this night. She rolled out of the bed careful not to disturb the sleeping woman and sat in a chair across the room. She watched Hawke and listened to her soft breathing for a long time while she considered her next move.

Last night she had finally discovered the location of the relic...

*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

**A/N2:** Okay I definitely took some liberties with powers, story, etc. But I felt that I needed to do this to get to this place where we currently have Hawke and Isabela. The overpowering of the lightning powers was something I wanted to do and I think I'll show a bit more of that in future chapters. But the big thing I wanted to throw my thoughts into was the death of Leandra. In the game it was amazing how "okay" Hawke was with losing her mother, especially after the death of her sister! I just thought that the lack of grief was a little unrealistic. I thought that perhaps someone with so much power would be driven to seek revenge and in this case the people who might have ignored Leandra's pleas for help.

Sigh...in the comping chapters I have to deal with the whole stolen relic, Isabela betrayal, Hawke fights and becomes champion and then Isabela leaves stuff...so please be patient. I plan an easier chapter before that so I can insert a break between all of the angst.

Lastly thanks for all of the positive reviews! I personally feel like this story is getting better as it goes along and I am tentatively planning a sequel. If you think its great, then let me know. If you think it sucks then you probably wanted a Fenris fic...lol just kidding! :D


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